As we sunset the first four months of 2024, I find myself reflecting on the profound interconnectedness that defines our existence. Like branches on a vast tree, I believe that we’re all intricately linked. Each one of us is connected by a higher force - which I believe to be God. This realization came to me as I glared at a big blooming tree outside my window - how we’re all one big tree.
A couple of years ago I became aware of the cornerstone of my beliefs, guiding me to understand that my life's purpose is to create - to foster creation and to help others discover their intrinsic value - to help others create and design the life they dream of. Lately, I've been reflecting on the tendency we have to judge and criticize one another. I've noticed that while I may appear tough on the outside, I'm a highly sensitive person and had to learn the hard way - in other words, I’ve been a desirable candidate to reject, judge, minimize and envy. I’ve accepted that today, but it wasn't always easy being sensitive and intuitive while being ridiculed - I felt it all. But I didn’t understand why certain people sat at the judges’ table - believing that they were the writers of the rules of life.
I began my marketing journey at Nordstrom corporate in 2006 and ever since I’ve been creating value with words - showcasing luxury goods and lifestyle, hospitality and travel brands. In the beginning of the pandemic when my job evaporated I took my marketing skills in a newfound direction - helping creatives and artists showcase their own value via personal branding.
I’m able to recognize peoples' hidden strength and talent, and love supporting the journey of women and artists to write new pages in their story - for their brand, business and being. This is a skill I was born with - it’s my superpower, but it took a long time to learn how to execute this skill and to understand that I could also monetize it. I’d taken my copywriting and other storytelling forms for granted and it never occurred to me that I can hold up a mirror for others - to help them see their uniqueness and build on it.
My personal story was stuck in rejection mode and it wasn’t until I was able to help others understand their power that I knew how to accept mine; and to learn that when others judge me it really doesn’t have anything to do with me - they’re not positioning the mirror for me, it’s for themselves. I came to realize that these judgments may stem from individuals projecting their own insecurities onto me, unable to see beyond their own limitations.
This journey of self-discovery hasn't been without its challenges. I've grappled with the harsh judgments and criticisms of others, often feeling unseen and misunderstood. Yet, I've come to understand that I was protecting myself through a fear of rejection. This pattern of feeling judged and rejected traces back to my childhood, where I experienced the sting of unwantedness and criticism from family members. Subconsciously, while fearing rejection I began to put myself in positions where I would be subjected to scrutiny, whether it was competing in aerobic competitions or pursuing a career in acting - I found myself alone on the stage open for the business of critics.
The media's tendency to focus on the negative only exacerbated the fear of rejection. Despite receiving praise for my performances, I was fixated on the one critical review, overlooking the multitude of positive feedback. It wasn't until much later that I realized the futility of seeking approval from those who were never meant to be my audience. Not everyone is my people.
Today, I find myself embracing the freedom that comes with self-acceptance and most importantly, self-worth. The latter is THE MOST important value in our lives - without our self-worth we’re unable to see and accept others for who they are. Self-worth is love and freedom. Self-worth makes life fuller, easier and much more fun. I finally experienced that true fulfillment comes from within, and has nothing to do with external validation.
This understanding has empowered me to accept my path, unapologetically embracing my values and creativity. In my quest for authenticity, I've shifted my framework with clients and students who want to build a personal brand to lean into and lead with authenticity - that it’s all within them. And within YOU. Via my framework my clients and students are able to grasp that ALL they need TO BE is more of themselves. Your creativity and voice aren’t external and therefore there’s no need for external acceptance, only your own acceptance is needed. Your authentic uniqueness is not only powerful - it’s rich, beautiful and can easily be contagious.
Ultimately, we’re here to uplift and support one another, recognizing the inherent value in each individual. Whether it's through my work as a marketer or as a mentor to people and brands, I strive to help others write their own story embracing their authenticity. So, as we navigate the complexities of life, let us strive for simplicity by seeing beyond the surface, recognizing the beauty and value in each other. For we are all unique branches of the same tree, each one deserving of love, acceptance, and understanding. Thank you for being you, or as Oscar Wilde says Be Yourself - Everyone Else is Already Taken.
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Xo
ARP.
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